Ever notice how many words in the English language are ambiguous? How many homophones there are? Too many if you ask me—and quite frankly, the equivocal usage has thrown many of my conversations as of late.
SIDEBAR: Ever wonder why it’s football, not foot ball? Why it’s the Super Bowl and not the Superbowl? It has something to do with the AFL founder and Super Balls … really. I can’t make things like that up. Alas, you’ll have to Goggle it yourself to find out—now back to my post.
Case in point, I know someone who works in the wood products industry. And the other day, someone else asked me, “What kind of wood he has?” And I, well, I stumbled a bit. Cocked (no pun intended) my head to the left and contemplated all the ways I could answer that question. I mean really? First of all, I don’t have much of a clue what kind of wood he has (or doesn’t for that matter) but secondly, could they not have phrased that question differently?
It’s funny, isn’t it, how certain words can throw you off—even alter your train of thought. I mean remember all the parodies of Tom Brady discussing the firmness, or lack thereof, of his balls?
I have a friend—a different one, not the one with the wood—who cringes every time she hears the word “moist.” She seriously cannot handle it. To the point where she refuses to buy a Pillsbury cake mix. I mean I get it. It is kinda funny … but there in again, it is just a word.
And while we’re on the topic, what about the word “lover”? Not like she’s a cat-lover, or lover of fine art, I’m talking about the stand-alone noun. The word some people use to describe someone (cough, cough) “special” in their life. I mean who says that? Who actually introduces someone as their lover? Nothing ambiguous about that.
Anyway, it’s bad enough that we have words that mean entirely different things, are spelled differently, yet sound the same, e.g., their and there, to and too, whether and weather, witch and which … you get my point. I mean what were our Forefathers thinking? Oh, wait, they weren’t responsible for creating the alphabet and the language (or did language come before the alphabet?) that eventually sprung from it, were they? So, who is to blame? Certainly not Mr. Brady.
According to the website English Club … “the English language really started with the arrival of three Germanic tribes who invaded Britain during the 5th century AD …”
Rhut rho Shaggy, guess whose ancestors are German? Darn. Don’t you hate it when you find out you have no one to blame but yourself—or the folks responsible for putting you on this Earth in the first place. Swell. Eh, it could be worse … at least my brain thinks with ingenuity, right?
“The English language is nobody’s special property. It is the property of the imagination: it is the property of the language itself.” – Derek Walcott
Originally published in 2015 this post has been updated but still contains original content. Cover image created with Google AI.
DISCLAIMER: I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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